Rediscovering (Tag: Cayden Nekishu)

(Playing this Post Interesting Information)

The delta was gorgeous in the morning. It was one of her favorite places to go, when she had to think. A thick tail swished behind her back and forth as Aulan made her way down the delta's flowing grasses. The sparkling water trickled by her at a brisk pace. Furred ears swiveled back and forth listening to her surroundings. The tip of her leather nose wiggled as it tracked scents around her. Fur shifted between her shoulders as she walked.

Blaze's words bounced around in her head, and she felt slightly confused. He wanted her home again? His offer had stunned her and she wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Without realizing it she had paused on the grass, and stood there deep in thought about what Blaze had said to her. A sigh and her rump lowered to the ground. A grass hopper had her attention visually, but mentally she was miles away in thought.

(Sorry its short. I'm beat. Heading to bed)

It seemed another awfully average and un-entertaining day in the life for Cayden Nekishu. Friends seemed few and far between, regardless of his new stance in the pack, a group that he'd hoped would prove to be rather larger than they truly seemed to be proving to Cayden, thus far in his mind that he'd accomplish the same as a Loner. While he appreciated that his father was trying to help him, Cayden had thought that he would settle down and recognize that this was the place he was meant for. Sadly that hadn't happened, in fact even within the ranks of the Kostas, Cayden felt more like an outsider than ever.

The Crisithian Delta was well known to him however and as he roamed the land taking his own time and carelessly remaining out in the open for all he to see, his nose was to the ground floor and he was tracking the scent of someone he'd run into once before, the female that had spoken to him first of the prospect of Alpha status, a role he'd known nothing about at the time and now a role he knew wasn't for him.
Aulan it seemed had stopped to sit, her gaze seemed to be in the opposite direction of cayden's form and he wondered if she knew she was being tracked altogether.

He came up beside her slowly and quietly, his movement would likely take her focus now yet he simply took a seat beside her, his head lowering to look to the grass hopper wondering what on earth had her curiosity so. "I see your life's about as exciting as my own these days...".

Her ears swiveled back swiftly, having heard someone on the approach. Taken from her thoughts, she craned her head to see who it was. As Cayden came up beside her, she could hear the somewhat melancholy tone in his voice as he spoke to her. A light shake of her pelt and she sat down again. Her shoulder shrugged lightly and she looked at Cayden then. Her tail curled around her paws she sighed softly.

"Your father asked me back to the pack..." She said, confused. "I do not know if I can return there or not. I have enjoyed my freedoms as a Loner... but I am just that. Alone." She said, and looked back to the delta for a moment. "You have family. I'm not even sure Aleria would want to see me anymore since I left." She said, a bit of hurt in her voice. Though she had always felt her relationship with Aleria awkward. Like she was treading water with weights on her ankles. Aulan had a fondness for her, but she had let her down too many times.

"Perhaps I am just being a pansy and too prideful." Her voice soft as she spoke, and she looked up toward the lands before her. "There is so much out there. Beyond this place. Yet I keep coming back here. Though I am not entirely sure where I belong yet." She said, and even smiled a little. "The journey has been enlightening and I am enjoying the ride honestly." Her voice had perked up a little, and then she looked to Cayden once more. "You however, seem more lost then ever. What is going on?"

Cayden's ears lifted slightly at the prospect of Aulan entering back into the pack, to be honest, she'd be the first resembling anything of a friend within the ranks that he'd met and gotten along with since he himself was taken into the pack by his father. Benjamin certainly seemed to be keeping himself busy trying to bring them all back together and Cayden wasn't so blind to feel that the pack as it was, was in disarray and rather unorganized. "I won't tell you what to do but it's not exactly like there's a whole lot of the pack left from what I've seen. I know that bladewolf cat's hanging about somewhere but aside from him and my father, you're really the only other one I've met so far. The Kosta's need something to pull them together again, some sort of unity but hey, don't quote me on that, it's just my guess..." He groaned a little under his breath admitting his lack of experience in such matters with less taste than he'd have liked.

"As for yourself...-Pack's meant to be like a family of sorts isn't it? My families so fucked up, I don't think Benjamin knows whether I'm his friend or his foe at times so don't get too caught up on whether these people like you or not. Family's interesting like that, you pick your friends right? But family you're stuck with, whether you're willing to accept it or not...." There was a lot of personal truth coming out in his remark, a lot of experience that he'd earned though couldn't quite bring himself to acknowledge in himself just yet. Still so young and like Aulan, feeling very much alone even with his status in the pack, Cayden couldn't exactly give her an educated suggestion, resorting to finishing his response with something of an indifferent opinion, "Do whatever makes you happiest. I'm finding being part of a pack doesn't suddenly justify you to have friends...-It just obligates you to deal with issues that aren't your own".

"As it seems to evident to you, I guess there's no harm in admitting that I'm struggling myself...Some people seem to be made for pack life, like my father. Personally I'm not sure where I stand".

Her ears flattened slightly at the mention of BladeWolf. The way he had spoken to her about the Kostas's still burned her blood inside. "A bad Alpha can ruin a pack." She said, and growled lightly when she said it. She did miss being around others, and belonging to something greater then herself. Though perhaps that is what got her into trouble to begin with. Pleasing everyone else, and leaving herself for last. The last few months she has reflected on this, and had begun to change that.

When Cayden spoke of a pack being like a family she nodded. "Yeah, I suppose you are right. My views on things have shifted some." She said, and then shook her head lightly. "I care less if people like me or not. If they do not then tough shit. That's not my problem. I am not out to please everyone anymore. That got me no where fast." She said, and then looked back at Cayden. "Benjamin, I can't speak for because it's been a long time since I have been around. Though I do know that things will turn out alright." She said, and then nudged him slightly. "You just have to adjust and so does he. Many things have changed, but the fact that he is your father will always remain." Aulan's tone lightened and she spoke again. "Sometimes having friends is over rated. Though the company is often most welcome. As for dealing with problems that aren't yours... I don't think being a part of a pack obligates you... Unless the problem is life threatening to the entire pack. If it's an individuals drama, be there for them... but don't let yourself get caught in it." She said, with a light shrug. It sounded a bit cold, but many things had changed about the female in her time away.

Furred ears swiveled back forward when Cayden admitted to struggling himself. Though it was apparent to her anyway. She liked that he talked to her about things going on. "Yeah, some people are made for it. I will give you the same advice you just gave me. Do what makes you happiest. If being in the pack isn't it, leave. If it is... and you just don't know it yet? Then stay. What is important at the end of the day is that your belly is full, you have a dry place to sleep... and your heart is warm." The words fell from her tongue easily, and she smiled a little. "You know you can be open around me. I'm excellent at keeping secrets you know." She said and nudged him again playfully.

As she came into contact with his side, nudging him in an attempt to lighten the mood, Cayden turned to throw her a slightly skeptical look that held a strong sense of confidence in what he would say in response, "If I didn't trust you Aulan, I would not have approached you...". It was a blatant remark though whole heartedly true, he hadn't been forced to go to her nor did he need to speak to her with any urgency, it was that he chose to do so and that he knew that she was someone he could be of equal confidence in, "You don't strike me as the malicious type, you also seem to speak favorably of my old man...-Whether or not that rings true for the rest of my family is irrelevant, you approached me some time back offering me advice when I knew nothing of who you were or anything about these lands...".

Cayden allowed a pause, a time of brief silence so that she might take what he'd said to heart before changing the direction of the conversation to better suit her own current predicament. "Blaze obviously shares your trust in him too, if he's trying to pull you back into the pack. The Kostas don't have such a large show of strength these days, friends or begrudged allies, we could use some good people to help pull it back to what I've heard so often that it used to be...". He'd heard a lot of rumors about how strong the pack was that Benjamin had once led, knowing not that in truth, the Nayati had been a part of the same body once upon a time. It was a missing piece to the puzzle that might one day help Cayden to figure out why his father left it in the first place however for the time his focus was on Aulan. "Where do you feel you belong? Not for anyone else but more so for yourself. Friends or not...-Do you want to come back to the Pack?".

A sense of pride filled her when he spoke about trusting her. That was something she would not betray. When he spoke of her not being the malicious type he was right on. She wasn't, though she also was no longer so easy to follow others. No longer did she have her head in the clouds and grand ideas of family and love. However she was in fact, happy. Light. Free.

When Cayden spoke of his father in that way it almost made her smile. Her left ear turned down a little and she sighed softly. "I didn't know what was going to happen when I told him about Blade. I know full well the consequences of accusing such things of an Alpha wolf. He however was not deserving of such a title." She said, and then looked back out at the delta for a moment. Home....A place of peace, pride and love. She ached for that. Though her abilities had grown, she still felt useless in other ways. A serious look in her eyes and she looked back at him.

"I have a strange question. If I come back, would you teach me how to fight? I am tired of not being able to stand up for what I believe in and want because I am utterly useless in a battle. I miss the pack, but I don't know where I belong. Perhaps this is the first step to finding out." She said and nodded slightly.

She'd taken him by complete surprise in her request, his head tilted to the right in a mental struggle to understand what it was she hoped he could teach her exactly, or rather why he of all the capable brutes in the land. Those like his father or the wolf that had stood beside Kara in their run-in so very long ago. It also occurred to him that the question, the request might possibly make or break her decision regarding her potential return to the pack though over all he couldn't blame her, he couldn't imagine living a life where he was not able to fight for it, to defend himself or the few people he cared enough for to stick his neck out for.
"I can't help but wonder why you're asking me of all people. You do know my father would more than likely help you, right? Especially if he's wanting you to come back to us..." He was of course referring to the pack. Taking a moment to scratch at his side with his right foot, he soon turned to look back to Aulan thoughtfully, "I've never really taught someone else before...-But I am trained in Bushido, the way of Samurai in my human form. As a Wolf, you would hope that it's instinct but it really comes down to knowing the right area's to target I guess...-Going for the throat for example, you can pierce the jugular and with enough force dig deep enough to cut your opponents breathing and puncture an artery leaving them to bleed to death..." he spoke the words so casually and though the subject was rather dark, Cayden had done so, so many times in the past in order to survive on his own. "It's also how I was taught to bring down larger prey. There was this guy that my mother was hanging around with...-He showed me how to use my weight for momentum and bring down the likes of a bull or a bear. Both the throat and the face can cripple your opponent if your sharp enough...-Quick enough. If you can manage to kill your opponents sight, strength won't mean shit in the end...".

"I'll make you a deal, I'll help you learn how to kill to defend yourself and the pack only so long as it's not used in any way that can harm the Kostas...".

Aulan watched him consider her request. It indeed would help in swaying her decision to come back to the pack or not. She would learn first.. When he turned her down, and opted for his father to teach her her tail wagged slightly. This made her heart lighter and a nod crossed it briefly. This she thought might be better for her. When he began to explain why he turned her down she understood better his intentions.

"I can hunt for myself, I just want to know how to defend myself, or that which I want." She said, and nodded lightly. "I appreciate you being honest with me, and offering me a possibly better suited fit. Cayden you never cease to surprise me and you are more like your father then you realize." She said happily.

Though her tone changed slightly when he mentioned his mother and the guy she hung around with. Her ears flattened slightly and she got quiet for a moment. There was a brief, subtle twitch to her lip before she shoved it all away with a shake of her head. "I suppose all lessons are valuable." She said, and left it at that. Another smile toward him and she shook out her fur. "I am curious, how your dad brought you to the Kostas. I thought you would stay a loner for sure." She said, now curious about how it happened.

She thought another moment on what he had said, and her ear turned slightly. "Never in all of my life would I use what I learn to harm any of the Kostas Pack. This I promise." She said, and nodded once. These words she meant.

Cayden Nekishu offered a reluctant and pensive huff in response to her turning the discussion back on him and his relationship with both his father and the Pack. Claiming that he was like his old man came as something of a difficult concept to accept, first and foremost because he didn't truly know whether to take that as a compliment or otherwise not really knowing his father as well as she did or as well as he should by now. "It's a turn around from trying to kill him, I guess I can acknowledge that much at-least...-Benjamin and I, we're still not quite on even ground though I suppose we're working through it all..." His tone dropped a little, assurance seemingly vague in his end remark though he kept his focus out in-front of them both, searching the fields for any sign of movement and life that otherwise might give them something of a bother.

"Being a part of the pack was my request...-Blaze wanted it, I could see that much and I've only known a life living for myself. Until I met Veita a while back I hadn't considered that having others around might do me some good but...-Well, I thought I ought to try something new I s'pose", his use of words commonly at the end of his sentences didn't hold much at all in the way of confidence though didn't speak so blatantly in the representation of how he was feeling over the matter, not with enough credit to Aulan at-least, he who was still very much trying to find his place in the order of things. "I'm still not entirely sure if this is where I belong. The others aren't around from what I've been able to tell, I'm able to catch old scents though no one's thought to approach me and I've not seen anyone else to try to form whatever kind of relationship you'd have with others in a pack. This is still new to me and it's been a few months now...".

His gaze slowly returned to that of Aulan and he forced a soft and half-hearted chuckle, "Perhaps I'm just not meant for all this..." his tone sounded sarcastic though there was quite a large hint of sincerity in his remark, "I will help you though, it's the least I can do for you helping me...".

Her ears turned this way and that, listening to their surroundings carefully. She could tell he didn't like to speak about himself, and she made a mental note of that for the future. Though she couldn't help but be curious. Aulan listened to him speak, and his tone was somewhat uncertain.. at least it seemed that way to her. A gentle nod and she relaxed more.

"It is going to take a while. The others have drifted off it seems. That's what happens when the Pack's heart is decimated. You won't always see them, but knowing they are there is nice. A simple call is all it would take to gather them together."

She said softly, and raised a furry brow when he spoke to her again about helping her. Her head tilted slightly and she looked somewhat puzzled for a moment. "I did not help you, to expect anything in return Cayden. That's just what you do for others.. I may be a loner, but I suppose I will always be a pack wolf at heart. It's early, you may just not have found your place yet within the pack. Give it some more time." She said, her voice full of hope and confidence in him. "You will do just fine I think." She said with a nod, her tail wagging slightly behind her now.

'That's what happens when a pack is decimated', these words made Cayden rather curious, forcing his eyes to look back in search for Aulan's own as he spoke up in open question, "What actually happened to the Kostas to make them this way, I heard the pack used to be full and quite active...I mean there's a group within the pack solely dedicated towards protecting our territory, so there must've been a lot more life to this gig than there seems to be these days right? Surely one guy didn't bring down the entire thing...", he'd heard rumor of the former alpha through both Aulan and his father though still didn't quite understand it. It made him wonder just how many pack wolves relied on their alpha, did they -need- an alpha to survive in the wilds or was he just a leader that served to guide when the pack was in question or lacking direction. From all this apparent damage that had been done, it sounded very much like the former and Cayden didn't like that, it didn't sit well with him at all.

"The Alpha of a pack, it's a leadership role obviously but what's involved, I mean it sounds like the Kosta's depend on this rank to live, it's almost like having your entire life dictated by the commands of another, I'm not sure I could do that. I get hierarchy and I get maintaining order but that's like a dictatorship right, I'm no one's slave..." his head cocked back, offering something of a confident chuckle, a tone of disbelief in his assumed truth of the fact, "It's better to live the life of a lone wolf than it is to be told how to live your life by the likes of another. I know for a fact my old man knows he cannot run my life like that, he'd have one hell of an argument on his hands. I'll follow his lead, do my part to keep things running smoothly but if he thinks he's going to be the thing keeping my life going smoothly, he's got another thing coming...".

Aulan's ears went back slightly as her eyes met with Caydens' for a moment. "I am not entirely sure. I know it had to do with your dad, and the pack as a whole. I wasn't here when it all went down. I cannot say for sure what happened. I know that Jokers is dead..I went off to try and find her. Then all hell broke loose here in the pack." She said, and then sighed softly.

"The Alpha isn't a life line to the pack. They are the protector, leader and guide of the pack if they go astray. They consult with the other top ranks to decide what is best for the family as a whole. It's not a dictatorship. Everyone who follows the Alpha trusts them, because they have proven themselves worthy of such a position. They do not take it lightly or without humble honor." She said and met Cayden's eyes with her own amber ones. "If you are talking about Core Lupus they are no longer around... Wolf... Wolf is gone, jokers is dead and as far as I know the others who ran the group have scattered to the wind." She said and then looked away for a moment. "I would love to see the pack thriving again, and the way they used too. It is going to take a lot of work and heart on the packs part. I think I will come home...I want to see the pack the way it was in its glory days." She said with a light nod.

Caydens head swiftly turned to eye Aulan with a sense of annoyance in her remark over Cor Lupus and WolfMortum's history with it, "Wolf was in Cor Lupus?....-Ugh, that's bloody typical..." He growled something more of a biased grumble under his breath, his eyes looking passed her in a moment of thoughtful silence. Cayden had already been to the Colosseum, practicing where he thought he'd reached a mark that meant he'd surpassed the long since dead male, the prospect of Cor Lupus had truthfully caught his eye too and in the background of a flailing pack, Cayden had meant to say something about it to his father yet to hear that Wolf had stood behind this as he had so much else in Cayden's life, it infuriated him to no end.

"I'll be glad to see you join us again...-It will be good to have you around, I'm not used to all of this but I'm not going to sit on my backside and wait for something to happen either..." Cayden soon spoke once more, confidence coming through in his tone, his eyes narrowed on the distant horizon, "This pack has splintered into pieces and something needs to be done about it, if not for myself, then at-least for the old man and to undo the damage that's been done before me". Slowly his rose to all fours, standing upright with his head high to the air as he took in the many scents carried upon the wind, none of whom spoke of attention unwanted. "I will help you learn to defend yourself but I will ask something of you in return, Aulan...-I need a Den and the pack needs to strengthen its borders, scouting parties and shit like that...".